Resurfacing

For some reason, every single time I sit down to blog, I end up changing my mind. I think how I really have nothing interesting to share (which I never did nor did I ever intend to..ha!) or how no one reads it (which per the numbers isn't true but feels like it due to lack of comments), etc. etc... And so I don't blog and regret it later that I'm not keeping it up. Yes, I may be going through a hard time right now with my Mom (and best friend at that) having cancer and all of the many big and small ways it has negatively changed our daily lives, but why not let some of it out through blogging or just even using the blog as an escape? So, that's what I'm going to try to do. 

It has been several weeks since I posted, so I'll update you on what's going on in my life. We will start with my Mom. She is coming up on being halfway done with her chemo treatments (which she seems to be responding well to) this coming week. She bravely shaved her head when her hair started to fall out. So now she sports baseball caps like I do when I haven't washed my hair. Ha! She says the wigs are itchy and uncomfortable. The girls haven't seen her in person since she shaved her head, and I am a little nervous about how they will handle it. HA has already added to her nightly prayers, "and bring back Mah Mau's hair." 

As far as meds go, I think we are finally headed in the right direction. Bashty confirmed it for me the other night at dinner when she said she could tell I was back to being me and how happy she was for me that I was feeling better. She's always a good gauge of how I'm doing because she knows me so well and we spend almost every Saturday together. I told her I didn't feel 100% to which she reminded me no one in my circumstances would right now (Mom's cancer). She had a good point. 

HA has decided she wants to be Sophia the First (Disney) for Halloween, so we will make her birthday party with the same theme like we always do. As you can imagine, I'm already trying to come up with "royal" ideas! :) 

HA has started fall soccer. Her first game is this Saturday. Not positive I'm going to be able to make it since I'm having two teeth implants done this Friday morning. I hope I can just take a pain pill and go anyway. 

We are starting what's called Wednesday Night Live at our church (Franklin First United Methodist Church) next week. I'll be in a women's Beth Moore bible study and HA will do Cherub Choir. 

And finally...I'm looking for a job and our house is still on the market...anyone else feel overwhelmed?! ;)

It's Me Again...Finally

Well...it's been over a month since I have posted anything. In all honesty, I have been overwhelmed dealing with getting my medications straight. I haven't written, because I just haven't felt like myself. Then last Friday I was home visiting Mom after her first round of chemo, and I got into a car accident while going to pick up the pizza for dinner. Now yesterday I find out that the woman is filing a personal injury claim. Geez. Okay, so rewind. Back to my medicines. I revealed early at the start of my blog that I take antidepressants and anti anxiety medication. All was well until I got back from Spain in late March. At that time I started having all of these unbearable side effects from the meds that I was on. Long story not so short, after a psychiatrist change and breaking out in hives all over my body as an allergic reaction to the second most recent med that we were trying, I am back on a medication that worked for me well a long time ago. I am praying that it works out this time, because I am exhausted from not having it right and not feeling like myself.

Mom is responding extremely well to the chemo and after shots (which can evidently make you even more sick than the chemo)! She had her second treatment and after shot this week. Her hair only started to fall out yesterday. She gets it all cut off tomorrow. I can't imagine what that would be like emotionally, but she seems to be handling it all like a champ. I always knew my Mom was amazing, but after all of this I see just HOW INCREDIBLE she really is!!!! I love her soooooo much!!!!!!

The wreck. Ugh. Thankfully I was by myself, and I was just fine. Now we just have to deal with squeezing two car seats in a small rental and the whole personal injury claim thing.

The house is still on the market. We had a second showing this week, but no response, so guessing that is a no. In the meantime, we have started looking at new builds. The last plan I heard from Chris was to keep it on the market another month or two then take it off for the winter before starting again in the spring. We put it on early in case it took a long time to sell.

The next up project is that I have to get two tooth implants as a result of bad dental work. Long story. I did find out this week that the $5,000 does NOT include the crowns. Wonder how much more that one will cost?!

In the meantime Collins turned 1! It was bittersweet at her party because my family wasn't able to be here, but we celebrated with the Buckleys and our closest friends Trav, Wren, and the kids. Collins loved all the decorations and her cake. She was so cute!! She couldn't stop saying "Ooooooohhhhhh!" Here are a few pics from her small party. I felt so guilty for not going all out, but with Mom having cancer nothing else has seemed important lately. It turned out cute anyway, and as I said, Collins had a ball!!

The Coast Is CLEAR

So this is the first time I have felt like blogging in weeks!! Today we received the absolutely wonderful news that my Mom's cancer has NOT spread!!!!!!! The pet scan was clear!!!!! Tears of joy streamed down my face when Ash gave me the miraculous news!!!!! I feel like I can breathe again after what feels like forever but has really only been a couple of months. I am so thankful to God that I could shout it from the rooftops!!!!!!!!!! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!!!!! I have recently found my strength in Him with the help of the book Jesus Calling. It is a wonderful little devotional book that my Mom ironically left at my house awhile back, and every time she was here I would forget to give it to her. After all of this started happening, I opened the book to that day's date and read it aloud. I instantly felt connected to it. I knew it was no mistake or accident that the book had been here all of this time. God works His magic in so many wonderful (and sometimes small) ways. The other way I have "survived" this ordeal is through constant contact with my sister. She is amazing beyond words. I cannot conclude this post without a 'shout out' to all of my many friends who have given of their time, energy, and prayers to keep in constant contact with me to make sure I knew I had a support system here waiting to catch me if I fell!!! The only word I can use to describe my life today is far beyond blessed!!!!! Thank you to all of you (you know who you are) for being there!! I love you all dearly and will never forget the feelings of warm support and unselfish love that you have given me through this journey thus far!!!!! 

We are all headed to the beach house this weekend for some much needed R&R. My Mom is even going to be able to go!!! I can't wait to make memories to last a long lifetime ahead!!! 

Nattie B

Tomorrow's the Big Day

Well, it's almost here. Mom's surgery is tomorrow, and I'm starting to get nervous. I'm still here in Nashville. I don't get to go for the surgery. :( It will be hard, but I know my sister will keep me constantly updated. I was going to pack up the girls and head down today. My Aunt Sissy was going to stay at my Mom and Dad's and watch the girls while I was at the hospital, but when I talked to Chris about it, he was afraid being at Mah Mau's without Mah Mau or any of the normals would scare HA. I agreed. So, new plan! I'm going to go down this weekend by myself and leave the girls here with Juju and their Daddy. I'm bummed and it feels very strange to think of not being there during the actual surgery, but that's just life with kids. Sometimes we have to sacrifice what we want for what's best for them. Okay not sometimes, most times. The surgery starts at 7:30 am. I'm just asking for your prayers for all to go well, no unexpected negative findings, no spreading and a speedy recovery! Thanks so much!!!

Still Here Y'all

Well, I haven't really been blogging lately. Haven't been feeling like myself and blogging has seemed to fall on the list of things I'm just not up to doing. That should show you I'm not me. Ha! Me not blabbing? Yeah, that's uncharacteristic of myself. Still waiting on some of my medicine to get in my system. It evidently takes two weeks, so I won't know if it is even working for a few more days. Things going on in the meantime? Well, my Mom came up for what was her last visit before her surgery. She played with the girls and enjoyed holding Collins since she knows it will be awhile before she can hold her after the surgery. I know that was a little hard for her. She was in good spirits although she admitted to being down recently. Who wouldn't be?! That was my response. We are all just nervous of the unknown. I think that's a universal thing. So no exception with the upcoming surgery and recovery process. And before Mom came, I also got to spend time with my friend Tammy and her kids and catch up with her last Friday night. Then on Saturday I hung out with the long lost bestie Bashty. We used to hang out every Saturday before she moved to Dallas. They luckily moved back in Octoberish of last year, but our Saturdays had not gotten completely back on track. I missed her so much, and despite my mood, we had a great day together. She has invited me over and is making me brunch tomorrow. (She's an amazing cook!!) I'm excited!! Another great thing going on starting today is one of my best friends (and college roommate), Amanda is in town with her family for the week. They live right outside of Atlanta, so we rarely get to see each other, but we keep in touch often regardless. This will be her first time meeting Collins!! One last thing...getting together with the church small group for BBQ Saturday night. So, luckily I have a lot to keep me busy with Mom's surgery fast approaching. Just ready for the surgery to be over and the recovery to begin!!

Home Sweet Home

We have been back home at my parents since Wednesday night. Today is my nephew's 11th birthday party. We were originally scheduled to come for this and it would have been after Mom's surgery but then things changed. We do now have a new surgery date: June 19. About another 3 week wait, but at least it is scheduled. I've been starting to have a hard time with all of it. My meds seem to be way off, and I'm just not myself. I can't seem to function like normal which is a major problem when you are married and have two little ones who depend on you!!! I've been on the phone working with my dr to try and figure out how to straighten my meds out and get back to normal. Any prayers you have are always appreciated. I'm doing all in my power, and I know we will get it all figured out but the sooner the better in my opinion. Lol I love being home and spending time with my Mom and Dad and Ash and her family. Since she's a SAHM we get to do that. The kids play, we referee and chit chat. Lots of laughing and talking. Tomorrow we head back home and Monday I have an appt with my doctor to fix my meds. I've got to get on planning Collins Mackenzie's first birthday. You know I haven't felt like myself when I haven't already planned out every detail of it. It just has seemed so unimportant in light of things with my Mom. I did decide on the mermaid/ocean theme so lots of shades of blue and turquoise. I went all out for HA's first, so Ash says I can't have Collins look back and see those pics and then look at hers and see anything less. So, if you have some ideas, send them my way!! I like to do fabulous but on a budget!! 

Bored Stiff

This holiday weekend Chris and I (and the girls) were bored stiff at home most of the weekend. Not necessarily a bad thing at times, but overall bored nonetheless. We were home by ourselves. Friday night Chris and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary by going to one of our favorite restaurants, Bound'ry. It's close to downtown and o so yummy. They don't have a huge menu, and everything always tastes fresh. I had the filet with potatoes. Steak and taters fancy style. It was amazing. Chris had the wood-fired BBQ chicken n pineapple pizza. It was a little on the spicy side. My two French martinis were a little strong, so we opted to do a Redbox as opposed to going to the movies. Saturday I got my hair done then came to the house where we didn't leave until church time the next am. Sunday after church we were home all day again and Monday finally someone was available for a get together!! We met Trav and Wren and the kids in downtown Franklin and ate at the new crepe place. It was delicious! After Molly had a fall, our park plans were cancelled and back to the house we headed. Needless to say, I am so sick of being at the house!! And I missed Chris not being here, too. I am so excited that Mom will be here tomorrow to get us and take us back to her house for the rest of the week and weekend!! Can't wait to see everyone and celebrate Nick Nick's birthday!! Pool time baby!! Guess this means Mom gets one more weekend with us prior to having surgery. We are assuming that we won't even hear back from the nurse on a date today since she was off Friday and Monday. Waiting is the worst!