Monday's confession: I'm a little too much like Betty White.
But I digress...I have never been a big workout/fitness kind of girl. I wish I was! I strongly admire anyone who is.
In the last 6 months, my body has been through a lot. Not only did I give birth (and a difficult one), but I was also hospitalized with heart failure. The short (or 'Natalie short' which means not short to most, but in way less detail than I usually give) story. When I had Collins at the end of July, we headed home from the hospital within a couple of days. About a week and a half later, I had a really difficult time breathing in the middle of the night one night. The next day I went to a minor medical where I was diagnosed with bronchitis. The next day I wasn't feeling any better even after all of the meds, so I went to a general practitioner. The nurse took my bp and oxygen levels. Without even examining me, they then sent me to the ER. After many tests in the ER, I was admitted to the hospital. I was in heart failure, and would soon learn I had Postpartum Cardiomyopathy which is a heart disease. The postpartum means the disease was caused from my pregnancy. They had to get the fluid from my body as quickly as possible to keep me out of the ICU (I overheard my OB telling a nurse this as they hooked up me to several more machines). By the grace of God, they were able to drain over 28 pounds of fluid from my body in two days. I still have Cardiomyopathy and take medications daily, but it is now under control. Thanks to God. So in less than one month, my body gave birth and had 28 lbs of fluid quickly sucked out. This will leave a girl with an 'interesting' figure. Since I had had a baby, I was obviously already
Saturday was my first time at a gym in a
The major reason I hate working out is not that it is hard or makes me sore. It is because I'm not good at it. I have always pretty much stuck to doing things that I am good at. If I'm not good at it, I find a way to get out of it, because it terrifies me. I always think I am going to look like an idiot. I think that people are looking at me laughing inside at how out of place I obviously am. It's actually a pretty self-centered way of looking at things. To think that everyone who is working out is focused only on me. Looking at me and laughing at me. It is like when you are a teenager with a pimple. You are absolutely mortified to go outside of your house. When you do have to leave the house, you think everyone is looking at you, and that they are looking at your pimple thinking how horrible you look. You are embarrassed. When, in fact, not only are they not looking at you or if they are they are not even noticing your pimple. Most likely they have a pimple themselves (or another imperfection) that they assume everyone is noticing while looking at them. Saturday at the gym, I told Chris I was embarrassed to go in the workout room. I said I would be the slowest person on the treadmill. His response? "Natalie, they are not looking at you judging your speed, they are
Saturday I was on a treadmill
~ Nattie B