727 AKA Collins Birthday

So now that Collins is 9 months old (OMGosh!!!!), it's past time to start planning her one year birthday party. Of course I will be on Pinterest to look for some fun ideas, but I am really excited that it will be a summer birthday. HA's birthday is usually the week of Thanksgiving, so that rules out any fun summer themes that I can now use for Collins! : ) I have a Collins Mackenzie board on Pinterest, and I have been looking at fun summer themed party ideas for her birthday since Day 1. Anyone who knows me will not be surprised by this in the least! What can I say?! I am who I am. : ) The only thing that gets me is that with the house on the market, who knows where we will even be. Watch us end us selling the house and moving right around the same time. lol Hopefully we sell before then, although we have only had 4 showings total. And they always seem to be on Monday and/or Tuesdays. That's a little weird to me, but o well. I don't care what day you come, just come. Ha! But back to the fun. I saw some adorable ice cream cone balloons on Pinterest, but I'm not feeling an ice cream party for a one year old. Maybe when she is a little older.

 

 A few other thoughts I had:

 

sea/mermaid theme

 

 

pink lemonade stand

 

 

watermelons

 

 

and luau

 

 

So, I have some things cooking in my head. Now just gotta do a little more Pinterest research and make a decision, so I can start looking for my deals!!!

 

Nattie B

 

God Is So Good, He's So Good To Me

Well, after MUCH unnecessary waiting, Mom finally heard back from the nurse regarding her 3 hour biopsy results. First of all, it is cancer. That really wasn't a surprise since the doctor had originally told Mom that she was 99.9% sure it was cancer. But we couldn;t help but hope for a mistake, right? I would think that's just natural. Earlier in the week, Ash texted me saying she just felt like it was going to come back as nothing and asked if I thought that was her in denial. I confirmed it was. But I have to admit that even though the doctor had said that, I had the 'ole "my God is bigger than any doctor" thought and hope it wouldn't be cancer. When Mom went in for the biopsy, they were still having trouble with getting the needle to penetrate the mass. (We would later find out why.) At that point, they told her that "wasn't good." So, that was when I think we all realized it was going to be cancer. No more hoping for it not to be. Just moving on to accepting that it was going to be the reality from here forward. After they did the biopsy, they called Mom back in there to do an ultrasound on the under part of her arm and breast. Near the armpit. That's when we all got nervous. Really nervous. When Mom got home she called one of her best girlfriends who used to work in the medical field to ask about what they were doing. She told her they were checking to see if it was in her lymphnodes. Which would mean it would most likely spread. That had never crossed my mind. I was too worried about being upset if it was just cancer in her breast. I had never considered it could be more than that. At that point, I freaked. I got on my knees and begged God for it not to be spreading. For it not to even be in the lymphnodes. Begged like I never have before. Then came the waiting. Thursday came and went with no news. Great. Just what we needed. So when we finally received the news, it was a huge relief! The nurse said the cancer tested positive for estrogen which would mean it was hormonal. That was what we wanted since the dr had said that was a best case scenario. Blessing number one!! Number two was that her body has already started building up a defense to fight the cancer. That's why the mass was so hard to penetrate. Because of that, they now need to do an MRI to see where is cancer and where is the defense build up. They are supposed to call Monday to schedule that. Finally, the lymph nodes didn't have major signs saying they have cancer, but they will take and test one to be sure. So next up is the MRI and results so that there can FINALLY be a plan of action to put into place. We ask that you continue to pray that it isn't in the lymph nodes and hasn't spread and pray for speedy treatment. The waiting game is driving us all crazy!!! We feel so thankful to God for our great news, and we will continue to pray for more positive reports to come! Thank you for taking this journey with us in prayer and support!!!! It means everything!!!!!!

Love,

Nattie B

Rendered Speechless?

Okay, so I wouldn't say I was speechless, but I just feel like I have a lot of emotions whirling around right now. Pretty much everything about my mom and that whole situation. I want to be able to blog about it to help get my feelings out, but for some reason I can't and I can't even explain why. I don't even understand why myself. So many thoughts, feelings, and emotions racing in my head and in my heart at all times of every single day lately. I've never had a problem getting my feelings out before or knowing how to express them in words. Before now. I don't know if it's because the gravity of the situation or the possible gravity of the situation is just so much higher this time or what. I've been really anxious about the 3 hour biopsy. Anxious for her. She didn't seem anxious about it in the least. She's just ridiculously amazing!! They (my Mom and Dad) were here Sunday through yesterday after lunch. They came to visit and see HA's swim lesson. We had so much fun while we were here even though I went on an emotional roller coaster ride. I needed a chill pill. Literally. My mind just kept going to too many 'what if' scenarios (that weren't good) that I was overwhelmed. I would just start crying. My Mom? The rock as usual. Thing is, now it's my turn to be her rock. I'm not saying I'm not allowing myself to feel, but I'm just going to need to be the strong, positive, brave one for a change. Even if I'm losing it inside, God is going to have to help me appear 'all is good' on the outside. Ashley (my older sister) and I have luckily had opposite "off" days, so one is able to be the voice of reason and help the other. It's been perfect. (Aka thanks, God!!)
The biopsy is now over and Mom is home with Ash taking care of her and my nephew Brandon (aka bb) to bring her some smiles!! Now we wait. And try not to panic since they ended up calling her back in after the biopsy to do an ultrasound from under her boob near her armpit. The biopsy itself was difficult for them to do due to the hardness of the mass. They told her that wasn't good. So like I said, now we wait. And pray like never before.

-Nattie B

Lazy Sunday

We have had a mostly lazy but good Sunday. We skipped church, because it was the Sunday for the big push on the new building fundraising, so we slept in. The girls were at the in laws, remember? Chris went for a run, and I got the house straightened up (in case they called for a showing) and got ready for the day. We were meeting all the Buckley clan for lunch. Then I went for a short leisurely walk in my skinny jeans and flip flops and talked to my sister Ashley on the phone for awhile. We went out to eat and ended up at Minami. It's where they cook the food at the table. Met up with everyone, ate lunch, the boys moved some furniture at the in law's, and we have been here napping the rest of the day. The girls I mean. I didn't nap, but I've been piddling around doing a lot of nothing. So, no showings again today, but like my Mom said, "be thankful for the restful day you are getting!" And Collins is teething something terrible today and truly needed this long nap as opposed to being wagged all over. Waiting now on my Mom and Dad (yes, he decided to come last minute...and with the new puppy) to get here later tonight. Watch someone want a showing tomorrow when ill have an extra two people and puppy at my house for 2 days! Now that's how it works!!

It's A Good Day

Well, this has been a crappy, crazy week. I have felt horrible and received horrible news about my Mom and been very busy on top of it all. I haven't been feeling great "mentally" as a result. Meaning I've been really negative and in a little 'everything is so stupid' frame of mind. So, I haven't posted much. I didn't post, because I was in bed asleep as much as possible trying to get rid of the sickness. Still not sure what it was. Felt like the flu at the beginning of the week and just a bad sore throat/cold towards the end. Today has been a fresh start though! The sun is shining, and it is gorgeous outside. Not sure why we don't have any house showings scheduled, but oh well. The house is ready just in case anyone calls! HA scored 5 goals at her soccer game this morning. I ate yummy leftovers for lunch and then got a haircut. I have already even gone to the grocery for the week, and the groceries are put away. Oh, and one tiny detail I forgot to mention...no kiddos tonight! Usually Judy has them on Friday nights, but last night was the Daddy Daughter Sock Hop at church, so we switched nights. So we aren't even sure what we are going to do tonight yet, but it will be nice to be kid free. I suggested a movie, but we didn't really see anything we wanted to pay to see on the list. I tried to push the Ryan Gosling/Bradley Cooper movie even though I'm not really interested in the plot. Obvious reasons there. Unfortunately, Chris wasn't really into the plot either. Boo. Oh well. Can't blame me for trying, right?! We may go to a fun, trendy resternaut (that's how HA says it) or something. You know, instead of a kid-friendly restaurant. Because did I mention, we won't have any kids? Oh, right. I already did. My bad. I'm also in a really good mood, because my Mom is coming up tomorrow night for a couple of days before her biopsy. Yay!!! Mom in town!!! We can do nothing when she is here but be at the house and I'm happy with just her company. : ) The Lemonade Stand on Facebook hasn't caught on yet, but I'm working on it. Help a sista out, people! Tell your friends family, neighbors, strangers, dog!! We need all sizes and stuff for boys and girls!!! If you haven't, please "like" it on Facebook!! You can send me a message on the Facebook page if you have things you want to list or you can send an email to thelemonadestand2013@gmail.com either way. Oh, and God is so good, because it is ONLY through Him that I am still functioning with the crappy news about Mom. Guess you really CAN do all things through Christ. :)

Putting on My Big Girl Panties

Well, if you read often you know that I have recently had a lot of anxiety over a doctor appointment that my Mom was having yesterday. She had been called back in after a mammogram for additional tests, and those tests led the doctors to believe she needed a biopsy on the spot they had found on her breast. Even though I was sure it was nothing, I was nervous. I mean come on y'all, it's my Mom. As my sister Ashley and I say, she is our everything. So Monday i had a touch of the flu and yesterday was the day for the biopsy appointment. The appointment was at 10:30, so I was casually texting with my Dad while they had her in the back. He said they kicked him out. Lol Time passed and during that time I had HA at swim lessons, and they showed our house twice yesterday. So, I was a little distracted and expecting good news anyway, so it was a couple of hours later before my Mom called. She was in good spirits and explained that the doctor's needle was unable to go into the mass, and the doctor had tried three times. At that point, she explained to my Mom that that was not good and meant there was a 99.9% chance it was cancer. The next step is a biopsy at another place, but they couldn't get her in for 10 days??!!!! Say what??!!! She called back and was able to get it moved up to the 24, so she is going to continue to call and check for cancellations. The doctor said they would do the biopsy and probably do chemo to shrink the size before removing it. My Mom says she just wants them to remove both breasts and do reconstructive surgery. Chris was very sweet and came home from work early yesterday when he found out. He knew I would need him, and that meant a lot to me. For one, he works in finance, and it is tax week. Probably not the best time for him to leave, but he did it for me. I didn't even ask. I am feeling like I'm in someone else's world. I'm just still really in shock. But our family is tight, and we have a great network of Christian friends. With God's help, we will come out of this on a positive note giving Him all the glory. Now that I've said that, I'll say please hold us all in your prayers. My Mom is really doing great about it all, but I wanna crawl in a hole at times. There's no time for me to crawl in a hole! I have 2 young girls to take care of, and I need to be there and helpful and positive for my Mom and family, too. So looks like it is time for me to put on my big girl panties and deal with it!

My Weekend

It's already been a fun weekend, and luckily, it isn't even over yet!
Friday am: shopping with Wren, Scott, & Collins - always fun and relaxing.
Friday pm: dessert and drinks at J Alexander's with Kerry (who is about to leave to go back home to WA state *insert very sad face here*) and Wren. We had so much fun!! Love my girls!!!! We all highly recommend the very best chocolate cake, creme brûlée, and carrot cake! Yes, we did a sampling of over half of the dessert menu. Don't hate!
Sat am: hair appt. back to blonde, baby!! (still not a "bombshell" though) It's my comfort zone, and right now I need my comfort. (Being nervous about my Mom's upcoming biopsy this Tuesday - please be praying!!) Is it ridiculous that my hair color affects how bad or not as bad I feel about myself? (Hoping that's normal.) I also had to do a little Junior League stuff for the upcoming Club 22 Shopping Card (insert plug: www.club22nashville.org), so I found myself back at the mall. What a shame. I love to shop. Only problem? My husband is extremely tight. Lol I did leave with a cute little outfit for HA though. Don't we totally do that as moms?! Buy for our kids first? I certainly do! There was a way cute dress on sale I wanted, but I got her something instead. She will look way cuter in it than I would have the dress anyway. ; )
Sat pm: Worked on more of the launching of my new Facebook children's consignment sale page called The Lemonade Stand. I'm praying it actually takes off!!! Please go check it out if you haven't, and I'm running a special for the first 2 weeks of free listings. So let me know if you have things you'd like to sell!! We only have a few items on there right now that I put up today, but hey! Gotta start somewhere, right?! Also just played outside with the kids. The temperature was perfection! No showings on the house today, and none scheduled for tomorrow. That's not giving me a good feeling...but any who. All in God's timing I guess!
Tomorrow: church then Chris' work baseball game followed by dinner at his parents. Chicken spaghetti with rotel. Yummy!! And I don't have to cook - bonus!!!

-Nattie B

Not For Sale By Owner After All

Okay. We did it, and it's official!! Our house is on the market. We tried the whole For Sale By Owner thing...for less than 2 weeks!! We ended up listing with an agent that does a flat rate fee as opposed to the %. The house is on MLS as of today, and Chris waited to put the sign in the yard until it rained today to soften the ground. A lot is going on in my head about the whole thing. First and foremost is attempting to keep a house clean 24/7 with a 4 year old, 8 month old (I can't believe she's that big already!), and a dog. Whew. Keyword is attempting. Next up is finding a house I love in our budget in the area(s) we want to be in. Mainly it all terrifies me. The unknown. The unknown timeline of selling. I mean it could take 6 months or more to sell, but then there is the story like the girl told me today at HA's swim class. Where they sold their house in a week! The unknown timeline of buying. Do i look now only to fall in love and not be able to buy it because ours isn't sold? Leaving the memories from this house also makes me a little sad. It is our second house. We have lived here 6 good years. A lot has happened in those years. You know, like 2 kids?! We literally just started, and I'm already ready for it to be over! Uh oh.....

It's been a weird week...

Wow. It's been a weird week. Really, a weird 24 hours. I'm at my Mom & Dad's again. My Mom came up Friday to bring us here yesterday after HA's soccer pictures and game. My nephew Brandon (aka "bb") turned 5 this past week, and we wanted to be at his party (yesterday). He and HA are close buddies. When we got there we found out my Dad had scraped his hand on a door and that it was badly bruised. It was gorgeous outside, so everyone was outside, but he was inside with his hand all wrapped up and iced. Long story (not exactly) short, when my mom and the girls and I got back to my parents house later that night, my dad was headed out the door to the ER! Being the good daughter that I am (LOL), I offered to go with him. We finally arrived back at home around a little after 2:00 AM!! Luckily, it was just a hematoma with no broken bones or blood clots! Although everything turned out to be fine, it was kind of scary!
I spent my morning in a fog due to taking my medicine late (because we got home so late) and having to eat something at the exact same time. When I eat something while taking my medicine, it makes me feeling out of it for several hours the next day. That always throws me off for the day.

I know I had mentioned that my mom has to have a biopsy on her right breast, but I haven't really said much about it. It's not until the 16th, and I think it is in the back of all of our minds although no one is talking about it other than the occasional mention of how "it will all be fine."

Well tonight we received some bad news about a close family friend. That just added to the strangeness of this 24 hour period. So now my parents are upset which no one likes to see their parents upset, right? (Or get bad news about someone they love for that matter!)

And then there's the whole thing with having the house "on the market" and not being sure how I feel about it. I mean I guess you get attached to a house more than you realize. Or at least the memories in the house. I'm ready to move on, but I'm scared we won't find the right house in our budget. Normal first world middle class problem, I know!

Anyway, I just feel like I have a lot of things going on in my head that I just can't seem to fully express. Hope I haven't rambled too much.

-Nattie B

Below are some pictures from the soccer game, birthday party, and a few I took of the girls today while my Mom was planting flowers.

Regular Coca-Cola is my Crack

What are your "addictions?" Mine? Here's what I can think of off the top of my head (in no certain order):

Regular Coca-Cola
Cupcakes
Birthday Cake (specialty bakery not grocery store on both the cupcakes and cake)
Reality TV (Real Housewives of -fill in the blank here-, Rachel Zoe, Kardashian, anything Bravo)
Facebook app
E! News app
Shopping
Nordstrom
Target
The new sale emails (Very Jane/Group Dealz, etc.)
Robert Pattinson
Texting
Taking pics
Instagram
Woodchuck
Candy

And I'm sure there's about 10 others I've forgotten for the moment...

-Nattie B

This week's pics so far!

First up was Easter and Chris put the FSBO sign up.

Then...HA started swimming lessons on Tuesday. All was great until Ms. Melanie wanted her to put her face in the water. My thought as she thew a crying fit was that we may have waited a lil too late to start her on lessons. Lol

And finally...Gymboree has a swimsuit sale, so we stocked up for both girls. Makes me so ready to go to the beach house (my parents have a beach house, not me!)!!!

(No) Post Its

Okay, so there's been no post due to several reasons. Number 1: Collins is teething, and therefore has to be held almost all of the time. One word? Joy (highly sarcastic)! Number 2: Jetlag. Yes, still. For some reason, I just cannot seem to get caught up on sleep!! This is very unlike me and highly annoying! Number 3: We just put the house on the market. Not through a realtor of course, but for sale by owner. So ive been trying to keep everything clean and take pictures for online. Number 4: my Mom has a lump on her right breast We just found out about it this week. They found something, so she was called back again for an additional mammogram. After two mammograms and an ultrasound, they determined she will need a biopsy. To say that we're praying is an understatement!! Number 5: some Junior League stuff, and finally Number 6: I'm trying to get a children's upscale consignment page called The Lemonade Stand up on Facebook. These are obviously not in order of importance!! :) just know for those who read, I'm alive, and I will get to posting as soon as I can. If Collins would let up a little, that would most likely do the trick. :)

-Nattie B

Turns out I do want it all!

Due to several conversations lately, it has been brought to my attention (yet again) that I want it all. Nothing wrong with that, right? Not so fast. I think that I may be getting lost in the 'what is to be' more than the 'what we have here and now.' I'm not okay with this. I think it's great to strive for more. That's how we are. It's part of what makes us Americans. It is all over our culture. I think it's good and healthy to a point, but you can easily get carried away. And I think that I've been a little carried away lately. I broke down this morning on the phone with my girlfriend (from college) Amanda about all of it. It kind of came out of nowhere. You know that happens a lot when it is something that God wants you to deal with or face that you aren't even processing is an issue. Well, it happened again. I just feel so guilty to be so greedy in my wants of material things in life when God has already given me and my family so much more than I could ever deserve!!!!!! So how dare me to be even the least bit ungrateful by constantly wanting more?! So thankful for wise, understanding, and kind friends always willing to listen and help!!! I pray that God can help make me more thankful and less 'wantful.'

-Nattie B